Disclaimer

I'm writing these things down not as a message, or a reminder, or as information to anyone in particular. I have left, and am continuing to leave where ever I am, for very specific reasons which I will illuminate at a later date. Instead, this should be considered a place to publish thoughts, a place for reflection and a place to practice speaking to an audience. My writing has always been strictly private, but the author who is also the reader is also the most intimate critic and writing produced under the coercive influence of self-awareness generally, if not exclusively, seems forced. To be one's own audience breeds a sense of the most grand futility, and since I have given up imagining the future (come what may!) I have been unable to write to anyone except myself in the present moment. This, then, begs the question "Why am I doing this?" Why write at all, really? My hope is only that I might one day afford a leisurely lifestyle of extremely limited resources but correspondingly limited expenditures. No matter one's philosophical inclinations, one must eat and drink with a roof over his head. So, to write to an audience, whether real or not, is a form of self-expression hitherto unnecessary in writing exclusively for one's self and a practical move toward a literary career. Now I just need something worth saying aloud.